After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
