somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
