Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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