Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
