Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
