im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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