Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
whose parrot is this?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
