We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
