Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize