hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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