I'll bet she douches with gravy.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
