just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
