Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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