your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Randomize
