Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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