I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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