Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
