do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
