She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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