hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
That accounts for only three of the penises
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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