He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
please come you make the beer taste better
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
