I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize