what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
