i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
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