my soul wont recognize me after tonight
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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