I accidentally had phone sex last night
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
