watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize