WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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