Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
