I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize