big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
