did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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