If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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