It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
