It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
