Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
