is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
