i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I am naked and annoyed.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
