2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
