This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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