i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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