that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize