hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
