so explain again why im purple
no
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
