ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
