From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm both gender and math confused
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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