you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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