Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize