Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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