our cab driver is having phone sex.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
