i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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