you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
