I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize