haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We had sex on a dog bed..
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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