You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
