Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
