Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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