so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
