I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
