I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
