Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
