My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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