Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize