They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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