Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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