Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
